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Space? He finds his note and proceeds

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Anna Leonard Im thinking about Will, who I didnt know well, Will who killed himself seven or eight years ago, Im thinking about his car in Seashore State Park, Wills car parked in the woods somewhere by the bay and the poor soul who recognized him as human, calcium white against all that green or perhaps blueing like cyanotype, and Im considering the quality of sound the water mightve made through the window, if the window was open, and whether a note was on Wills chest or in the passenger or if he thought about me ever, me who knew Will only from a distance in the middle school cafeteria, Will who will only have existed for seventeen years forever and the water, if proximity to that pulsing wound of earth made of dying a kindness, if death is a kindness, and Im making Will about myself, who I also didnt know well, myself who, seven or eight years ago, was a child, too, who learned then that children could die alone, that many of us will die alone, alone but for the gargling, the wet, the water, the will